The mood was somber on Monday evening when a group of concerned citizens got together to take a stand against the increasing and disturbing issue of domestic violence.

Pam Gonzales, director of Sampson’s domestic violence shelter U Care, explained prior to the meeting that the organization’s annual vigil is a way to honor the memories of those who have fallen victim of DV and to lift up the spirits of the survivors so they will continue to stand against the abuse.

“It also helps survivors to reflect and measure how far we’ve actually come,” said Gonzales.

To prove just how big a problem domestic violence really is, Sheriff Jimmy Thornton reported to the group that as many as 57 murders have happened in North Carolina this year, three of them in Sampson County, and all are all connected by the common thread of domestic violence.

“Domestic violence is real, and it destroys people’s lives. We need to do everything we can to stop it,” said Thornton.

The sheriff also contended that domestic violence is a “community problem,” and that people should get involved, doing there part to help in whatever way they can.

“It is the difference between living and dying,” said Thornton.

He also advised younger people to examine their own relationships and, should they find they are in an abusive situation, alert someone so they can get help.

“We need to encourage young people to share those unpleasant things, and trust me, it is going on,” Thornton pointed out.

Joyce Owen, manager of Matthews Cards and Gifts, then spoke of her friend and colleague Tammy Irene Pickett, who was killed by her boyfriend earlier this year.

“She loved life, and she did what was expected of her,” said Owen.

Owen told the silent group about how her friend had high hopes for herself. “She had her goals set. She was going to go to Duke University to become a history professor,” said Owen.

And to honor her friend’s memory, she acknowledged that a scholarship had been set up in her memory to help continue the dreams of individuals with high hopes, just like Pickett.

“We are doing something that she would have wanted,” said Owen, sadness in her voice that echoed through the auditorium at Sampson Community College.

Domestic violence survivor Azucena Del Ra, her voice cracking, addressed the group with her horrific story of being shot by her husband.

She explained that after 10 years of falling victim to domestic abuse, she had had enough, and she decided to do something about it.

Del Ra explained that while her husband could be kind there were times when he was extremely violent and threatened to end her life.

On Nov. 10, 2007, she said, she found his threats true when he pulled out a gun and shot her three times.

“He shot me once in the head and twice in the back,” said Del Ra.

It was after that day, which she considers to be her rebirth, she reemerged as someone who would no longer be a victim.

“I thank God every day for being here,” said Del Ra.

Now she said she refuses to let her past hold her back. She even earned her licensed practical nursing degree from SCC.

And as she continues to grow, she explained to the group, she holds onto one defined truth.

“We only live once,” said Del Ra.

Katie Holland can be reached at 910-592-8137, ext. 136, or by e-mail at silife@myclintonnc.com.