Saved and single. I dedicated myself life and body to Christ at an early age. God didn’t come into my life in a storm. It was in calm in my life that I answered the call to become a follower of Christ. I am not perfect by any means. I have fallen short of the mark on several occasions. I just don’t love God, I am in love with Him. There is not a day that goes by that I am not mindful of Him.
I made a concious decision not to have kids out of wedlock. I, too, made a spiritual decision not to share my body, outside the sanctity of marriage. Now many years later; I am still standing fast to my vows. Through the passage of time, I confess that I have been tested and tried.
You are not married yet? And you don’t have any kids? And you’re in your thirties? Yes, to all the above. And no — I don’t hear my biological clock ticking. No. I don’t have any regrets about my decision not to have kids before marriage. And definitively no, I don’t feel old — mentally anyways. (physically — we will save that for another discussion). For some unknown reasons, I have always been considered strange in my family.
I recall my younger years. Around me girls were primping, getting their nails and hair done. You would find me, at library or in my room; buried deep in a good book. Books, books, books! I am a lover of books. A fan of historical, mythical, and inspirational authors. I could be transported to anyplace I wanted to go! Exciting! My girlfriend’s idea of having a good time were trips to the local shopping outlets, to purchase the latest items in fashion. When they were able to convince me to accompany them on one of their shopping excursions (and they were many) I would branch off—to the nearest bookstore. At the end of the day my friend’s arms would be laden with the latest fashion in clothing. My arms would be filled with the latest releases from my favorite authors. My friends loved me dearly, but I could see the looks in their eyes saying, you are something strange.
I refused to change — who I was to please that of other people. Not that my family and friends; asked me to do so. I purposed not to allow majority rules to change; who I authentically was as a person At the time, like all teen aged girls; I’ve gone through the ups and downs of finding my voice, then building up the courage to us it. As a single christian woman, I’ve gone through the rigors of life seeking to find my own identity. The process of life hasn’t always been easy. There were times when I had to get low with it, getting humble. On my knees I would go to God in prayer.
When it was most difficult for me, I still believed God would provide for me. Some people have to dig a little deeper. Stretch a little wider. I had to get a little lower. On my stomach I’d go. When you want something bad from God, you forget pride. I confess now the end results are well worth it.
I’ve gained patience from my experience. I’ve developed confidence through faith. In the fullness of time, God will unite me with the right one. Until then I remain focused, striving to stay in God’s perfect will and not permissive. I am who God called me to be. Some may say I am strange. Others my say I am different. I say I am fearfully and wonderfully me. One of God’s chosen. I am a certain one. Chosen for Purpose. Never give up!
(Editor’s note: Vanessa Richardson can be contacted at email@example.com)