It is not what you say but rather what you communicate with your lives that has the greatest impact on your children. You can convey strong feelings without speaking a word. Yet at times, you may say more than is needed and still not drive your point home.

Good consistent communication is essential for every relationship we have, and especially when it comes to your children. Of course, they may not act as if they hear everything you say, but it is surprising how much they remember. Then, they watch you, mentally measuring your behavior against your words and making note of any inconsistency. For instance, if you tell your daughter you love her, but fail to listen with your heart to what she is saying-or not saying-you run the risk of appearing insincere.

Paul viewed Timothy as a son in the Lord. In 2 Timothy 3:10-11, the apostle writes, “Now you followed my teaching, conduct, purpose, faith, patience, love, perseverance, persecutions, and sufferings…What persecutions I endured I endured, and out of them all the Lord rescued me!” Timothy was facing an extremely difficult time. His courage had waned, and thoughts of giving up battered his emotions.

Notice what Paul did not do. He did not rebuke Timothy. Instead, he reminded the young man of what he had learned. The apostle was asking Timothy to continue to follow the conduct, purpose, faith, patience, love, and perseverance that he had witnessed through Paul's life.

Children are great imitators. They want to emulate us. They formulate their own belief system based on what they see others (especially their parents) do and say. It is my prayer that if your life is in any way touched by a child, you will ask God to help you become a godly communicator of His unconditional love, devotion, and support.

When the bottom drops out of life, children need to know there is someone they can go to for help and encouragement-no matter how great the problem seems. Are you communicating the right message to your child? Ask God, and He will give you the wisdom you need.

Someone asked me recently to tell them the most important principle I had learned from my parents while I was growing up. I thought for a while and then, my response was: that I am ultimately accountable and responsible to God.

Many young people today do not know what this means because they have not been taught how to cope with the social issues of our time. They face temptation and fall into sin without a thought of the consequences. And in all fairness, maturity requires seasons of failure as well as success. From infancy, children are processing information about the world around them. Their developing minds receive countless messages each day, and they keenly watch Mom and Dad for clues on how to respond.

Teach your children God's truth early in life. Whether you want to or not, you are teaching your children by example. The way you live and the way you respond to your circumstances-and especially to the Lord-have a huge impact. You need to teach them to trust God and His Word. They also must learn that God loves them unconditionally, and that you do too. What's more, just like the father of the prodigal son, you need to forgive them when they make mistakes (Luke 15).

Many children will go through their younger years not knowing who they are in Christ-they need to realize they are beloved of God, bought with a price, sealed for eternity, and saved by the matchless grace of God. There isn't a moment when they are outside of His thoughts and care. Just like us, they are never alone, because the same God who loves us with an eternal love loves them.

You also need to teach your children: How to share their faith. Once they know what they believe and why they believe it, they will want to tell others about God's love and faithfulness.

How to pray. Prayer changes things-it changes us and the way we view our circumstances. When you teach your children to pray, you lay a strong foundation for them to learn how to trust God with every detail in their life.

How to reap a good harvest. Everyone needs to understand that we reap what we sow. If your children sow greed, then greed is what they will gain in return. If they sow love and joy, then God will likewise bless them.

How to handle finances scripturally. The way we give to God and to others reflects our level of trust in Him. The biblical principle comes from Luke 6: 38: “Give and it will be given to you.” Taking from your “first fruits” and offering it back to God is a sign of heart worship and a desire to know and obey Him.

Teach your children they are ultimately responsible and accountable to God. This is the most important lesson they will ever learn. In Romans 14: 10-12, the apostle Paul writes, “For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. For it is written, 'As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall give praise to God.' So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God.” While you never want your children to become fearful of the Lord, (but to show Him respect and honor) you certainly want to teach them that He is aware of their lives, and their actions have consequences.

Recently, a young man who taught in a very depressed section of an inner city told how he was affected by an elementary teacher's words years ago: “He looked at me and said, 'Every decision you make has consequences. So you need to take responsibility for your actions. The decisions you make today will affect your life tomorrow.” Many times we are tempted to make quick decisions without stopping to think about how our actions and choices will affect us and, more importantly, our relationship with God.

When a teenager disobeys his parent, he is actually disobeying the Lord (Luke 15:18). And unless his Mom or Dad is requiring something that opposes God's principles, the son needs to obey. However, many children-and especially teenagers-ignore authority because this is what they have learned at home. Their parents do the same thing, oftentimes with huge consequences, but refuse to admit they are accountable to anyone, least of all to God. Sadly, Christians can fall prey to this same trap and end up yielding to sin.

The Lord has given us life to enjoy (I Timothy 6; 17). But He does not want us to compromise what we know is true and right. If your children sense they can disobey and get away with it, they will have difficulty complying with teachers, future employers, and anyone else who makes or enforces rules. In fact, life will become a tangled trail of disregard and disrespect for authority.

I remember a mother sharing a story with me a few years ago about her son that grew up stealing cookies before dinner. At first she considered this a harmless act and even admitted that she and her husband laughed about it-until they had to attend a parent-teacher conference at their son's elementary school. The child's petty thievery had escalated and now included lying.