My goodness I love the spring time. My husband and I are enjoying the many azaleas we planted this time last year! We took one day last year and planted 20 plants in our back yard. It was a challenge working together, deciding where to plant and then planting, we had many arguments in the course of that day. The arguments consisted of where to plant, who was going to dig the hole and whose turn was it to get a bottle of water. We enjoyed our day and all the frustration we had then is now long forgotten as we delight in all the colors in our backyard! I am glad we took the time to plant and care for the plants, we are enjoying the fruits of our labor.
I would like to share some tips for managing public life with a loved one living with Alzheimer’s disease. These tips are provided by Senior Helpers, they are an organization that specializes in Alzheimer’s care. The following tips will greatly be beneficial as you venture out with your loved one.
• Have a Special Color. Yellow, for example. Make it your happy color and every tie you go out, both of you should wear it. That way if your loved one gets lost in a crowd, she or he just looks for the yellow shirt.
• Care Cards. These are almost like business cards that you can hand out in restaurants or in line for the movies when others may not understand your loved one’s behaviors. It can say something simple like: “My Mom has Alzheimer’s disease and sometimes it causes her to behave in unusual ways. She may get a little loud or repeat herself. Thank you for understanding.”
• Grocery Buddies. Arrange a day and time with your local grocery store when they know you’ll be coming by with your loved one to shop. They know Dad is living with Alzheimer’s but likes to feel useful, so upon check out both you and Dad have a cart of groceries, but you are only charged for yours. While your items are being bagged, Dad’s cart is pushed aside and re-stocked. Dad helps take the groceries to the car feeling good about helping.
• Fashion Make-Unders. Encourage independence and simplify choices by limiting wardrobe items to only those items that go together and that are easy on and off. All solids and primary colors for example. No belts and accessories. If your loved one gets “stuck” on an outfit and wants to wear it all the time, be flexible and consider getting multiples of those favorite pieces. Your loved one may enjoy always knowing where her purse is or where his wallet is, so duplicates of inexpensive options can save the day.
• Travel Pals. A doll is not just a doll to someone living with Alzheimer’s disease. It can be security, a chance to show love and care, an important companion to guard against loneliness. You may want to see if your loved one responds to a doll or oversized stuffed animal, especially the ones that come with hair or fur to brush and a blanket to wrap around them. Of course, this is only appropriate at a fairly advanced stage, but can be very calming.
• Music. Music is the last thing to leave our memories. It’s so deeply embedded in our emotional DNA. Having an iPod with headphones to playback specially chosen songs from your loved one’s youth is a great tool for entertainment, distraction and calming. If you have an iPad and can get “YouTube” videos of old musicals, those are great too.
• Lose Your Logic. Emotions with those living with Alzheimer’s can be strong. Logic and reasoning are not. Don’t waste your time asking them “Why” they did something. Your wife probably doesn’t know why she ate food off another person’s plate or why she “stole” a candy bar from the check out line? Instead of asking why, it’s best just to say. “there’s plenty of food here and if you want something else, I can get it for you” or “I think these are two dollars, let’s go pay for it”, asking why or reprimanding will lead to a potentially hurtful argument you’ll likely regret. Remember you must join the person living with Alzheimer’s world. They can’t find their way to yours.
Try these tips, work at it you will be glad you did. I trust you will consider them and try them. You will get positive results and you will enjoy the fruits of you labor. Making decisions as to when, where and how may bring on some arguments but the end results will be positive. You can visit Senior Helpers at www.seniorhelpers.com/dunn for additional tips. You can contact me at [email protected], I would love to hear from you. Enjoy your day, enjoy the beautiful colors of spring! Hope you have a ‘Best Day Ever”!