Editor’s note: This is the fourth in a series

A positive approach is the best way to deal with a person living with dementia. As a carpenter has a box of tools to get the job done; so, will you as a caregiver acquired tools to accomplish your task. The first thing to know is how the human brain takes in data.

First: What you see. This is primary, you look and see. Second: What you hear. When you hear something you automatically look and see what you hear. Third: What you feel/touch. You feel something you like; you want more or you feel something you do not like; you want to stop. Fourth: What smell. Fifth: What you taste. The five ways the human brain takes in data is important. Let’s concentrate on the first three. What you see, what you hear and what you feel.

Keep in mind as we age our visual field grows smaller. When a person lives with Alzheimer’s disease, they will lose safety awareness with the loss of peripheral vision. As this disease progresses you must keep this in mind and approach your loved one from the front, not behind or from the side. Be careful to give them time to see you and process. Keep a distance of 12 feet (this is considered public space). Pause at the edge of personal space (this is about 6 feet). Do not ever approach your loved one as a surprise. This is sure to startle them and you do not want that to happen. Be patient, remember to give them time to comprehend.

Keep in mind when someone hears something, they automatically look to see what they are hearing. So, when approaching your loved one and you want them to do a task that will require your help, show them, then tell them. Remember, what you see, what you hear! When you are planning a task to do, once you show them and once you tell them, then and only then do you have permission to touch. Show, tell, do will work with practice. When you put yourself in their world you begin to understand, how would you feel if a stranger just went up to you and started trying to pull you to a place or assist you with taking off your shoes! Or start trying to help brush your teeth or give you medicine or a drink of water. Though this is exaggerated, hopefully you get the picture. If you approach a person living with Alzheimer’s disease and touch them before you have given a visual and verbal cue, watch out. Remember dementia robs them of skill before robbing them of strength. So, if you do not want to get smacked, no touching until you’ve given a visual and verbal cue.

Your loved one is doing the best they can do. Their brain is failing, their brain is dying. By the end of this disease only one third of their brain still functions. Cells wither then die and the person losses ability. Learn to focus on what they can still do and not on what they can no longer do. I encourage you check out teepasnow.com. Knowledge is power and until there’s a cure there’s care. You can learn many tools to use on this journey of dementia, please take time to go on line and view her videos. Take care of yourselves caregivers, you are amazing and what you do to give care to others is to be applauded! Hope you have a “Best Day Ever!”

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By Lesia R. Henderson

Contributing columnist

Lesia Henderson is a Certified Positive Approach to Care Trainer.