The art of caregiving

Several citizens in the county came together this week to learn more about the art of caregiving, a workshop offered by Sampson Department of Aging.

Guest speaker Carol Thomas from Mid-Carolina led the workshop, bringing to those attending a wide-range of knowledge on caring for others.

Thomas, a registered nurse, as well as a trained care advocate, used her knowledge to help those attending negotiate the difficulties of being a caregiver for a loved one, and how to address the many issues that may arise while fulfilling the role.

One key point was knowing when to step into the role as caregiver and when to stand back.

“One thing you have to learn is that people not being able to do things the same way does not mean it’s time to take over,” stressed Thomas.

Many in attendance agreed that stepping back was one of the issues they had when beginning their caregiving journey, with some saying it was very difficult to watch a loved one struggle. They also stressed that they later found solace in watching that same loved one gain back some form of independence.

The Family Caregiver Program, headed by Angela Faircloth, sponsored the clinic last week.

Faircloth, who started with the Department of Aging over 27 years ago and has headed the Family Caregiver Program for a little over a year now, said the program has a new meaning for her since she has had to learn in the past few years how to navigate aging with her own family members as they get older and lose some of their independence. Although she stated that her sister is the primary caregiver of her parents, she said she helps whenever she is needed, no matter the day, time, or hour, and is always there to give much-needed breaks to assist the caregiver with respite from the responsibility of continuous care.”

Many forget, Faircloth stressed, that, along with the person needing care, there is the caregiver who often gets forgotten. Forgetting that caregiver’s needs, she stressed, can make an already bad situation worse because caregivers can, and often do, hit a breaking point from a lack of care, physically as well as mentally.

“That’s what we are here for — to help them navigate this already stressful endeavor with helpful resources,” explained Faircloth.

Thomas was able to help many who attended last week’s workshop with questions as well as general reassurance on a variety of subjects that they had experienced in their caretaking journeys.

One such attendee was Jennifer Jackson, 39, who helps to care for a sister as well as two parents while also juggling a career as an art teacher at Hobbton High School.

“I had to learn to put myself first and learn how to say no sometimes,” she noted. “I had to realize that I could not do everything and that I should not feel guilty for saying no” said Jackson.

This was one of the issues that Thomas said many serving as caregivers fact. Learning how to set boundaries, she stressed, is harder for some than others particularly since most people who you deal with on a daily basis do not grasp the duties of a caregiver, what all is actually involved.

Shirley Fryar, 75, who, along with the help of her sisters, shares the responsibility of caring for her elderly mother, was also in attendance and was able to get some of the questions she had on navigating her mother’s care journey answered. She sought information on how to negotiate her mother’s care while not offending or overstepping her mother’s boundaries.

“That’s one of the issues that many face when dealing with parents — trying to balance being a child and being a caregiver where you have to sometimes be in complete control,” said Thomas, noting how sometimes it was best to “pick your battles wisely and learn to compromise.”

Thomas also talked to participants about how to handle talking with a loved one’s medical team during the event of cognitive decline, suggesting their loved one might not be able to express all that they are experiencing or simply don’t not want to discuss their problems for fear of having to give up their independence. “Many people at the beginning stages of a cognitive decline are aware that things are not normal and are realizing that their faculties are starting to fade, and that scares them. So we have to remember how do we negotiate this?” said Thomas.

She discussed the different ways to have those difficult conversations with medical staff suggesting things like setting up phone calls with those doctors so that a caregiver can communicate with the staff without hurting the feelings of those that you care for.

The group also touched on how to handle the rise in scam calls on older adults and the different ways to try to protect loved ones from those scam calls and emails. They noted the concern over the knowledge some scammers have of a loved one’s name, address and email information or phone numbers. Thomas said as technology progresses, everyone can expect to see an increase in scams on the elderly population.

Mobility was also discussed in some detail, with questions centered around how to make the homes and the lives of those needing care more accessible as they age.

“Rugs are one of the first things that need to be removed as they are a very common factor in falling, and we have all heard the horror stories related to elderly people falling,” Thomas stressed. “It typically doesn’t end very well. And the other thing is to arrange furniture in a manner to accommodate the use of mobility devices whether that be a cane or a walker.”

Faircloth, closing out the workshop, let those in attendance know some of the many programs available to caregivers through the Family Caregiver Program, as well as assistance programs that help with food, transportation, and financial assistance for those who qualify in the county, placing an emphasis on sharing the caregiver support group with anyone in need. or more information, contact Faircloth at 910-592-4653.