Don’t be ruled by what others expect

By Vanessa Richardson - Guest columnist

Lives without meaning flows within a blink of an eye.

You are of great value, God created you for purpose. Stay within the blue print of God’s plans for your life. Everything about you was designed with purpose. From that tiny mole on your left cheek, to your winning smile, to passion of art and literature, to the color of your hair and eyes! All specifically designed by the divine creator – God.

The decisions, we make in life, is our choice to make, and for better or worst, we must take full responsibility of the end results. Don’t let timetables, rush you into making wrong decisions. It is of great importance to understand the difference between settling and compromising. Compromise is a word many people tend to see as having a profound negative connotation.

To be clear, a compromise, is an agreement between two or more individuals with different opinions. When you settle for something, you leave behind your dreams, aspirations, and accept your limits. Without looking at things in such a black or white filter, when it comes to a relationship that doesn’t work on all its aspects, is sometimes better to go with the wave, and target a change to the better. This article will try to explore some methods and shortcuts for guiding you on how to avoid settling too early and for too little.

Being seriously involved in a relationship does not equal being married. You are restricted by any contract to go on with other aspects of your social life, meet with friends, and even meet new people. Life has a way of putting open doors in your way from time to time, and you should never try to go around them.

There is a clear limit between embracing everything that life brings new to you and staying faithful to your current partner. But accepting someone as a partner just because time has created an invisible link between the two of you, does not mean you should settle for no other good reason.

If you plan to go through multiple relationships before claiming you are ready to make the big step, you have to be aware of the fact that time is your biggest enemy. This is especially true for women, mostly due to biological reasons, but the difference tends to dissolve itself.

Failed relationships, or relationships you decide to end just because of the fear you close to settling also bring with them periods of time which work as buffers between those past relationships and new relationships to come. As we get older, most of us have to face the broken dream that time has infinite patience.

There is a common perception that time accelerates its flow as we advance in life and we are just a few steps far from the vantage point that will allow us to contemplate our failed existence. This is simply not true, and if you find yourself immersed into something hard, yet also rewarding, time will be indulgent with the speed of its flow.

Only lives without real meaning flow in a blink of an eye. To conclude, time is a sword with two blades and you should pay it respect. Time is also a very important factor for deciding if it’s right or not to settle.

Traveling can be a revealing experience which can ultimately plant your mind with the seeds for a better life, more in tune with your inner self. As you see different places, meet new people, and experience other faces of reality, you can put the parameters of your own existence back against the wall. And if you sense that you it’s worth investing resources in better dreams, why struggle with certain aspects of your life.

Many individuals return profoundly changed from traveling outside their country/culture and decide it’s time for some life-altering decisions. Deciding it is not a good idea to settle for the current emotional status quo is just one of the changes travelling can trigger.

Asking for advice from your family and friends can go both ways. The first option is you get an outside, out-of-the-box opinion, which might shatter your own toxic system of reference and trigger immediate change. On the other hand, many voices speaking in their own subjectivism can only add up to your overall confusion, and maybe prevent you from taking action.

Whatever the case, putting the problem outside your mind for a while can offer some relief and help you focus on other aspects of your life. Deciding if you want to settle or not inside a relationship can expose the individual to a tumultuous existence, and strip away the joy of being alive.

After all, if settling makes you feel like you are no longer in control of your life and you just let things be, the best decision would be to break the tie and put yourself out of that constraint.

By Vanessa Richardson

Guest columnist