Sampson Independent

Growing together spiritually

Marriages rely on growth to keep up with the passing years and spiritual growth is the most important type of growth a couple can achieve. But quantifying growth, and keeping it equal between the two partners, it’s often impossible.

Many marriages fail because they are blind in the face of growth and oppose change. Opposing change is like constantly facing the wind. You lose energy, and you find yourself in the same position, defending an unnecessary status quo.

Travelling together can be seen as an excellent way of knowing more about each other. As the domestic context is disrupted for a limited amount of time, the husband and wife are able to distinguish more easily the bonds formed between them.

Discovering a new and strange place can bring two individuals together like nothing else. Exiting the linear time flow of a normal marriage, usually achievable by travelling, brings the focus on the spiritual side. Far from home and possessions, each individual contracts itself closer to its own core of beliefs and feelings.

Bringing new life in the world can be the best way to grow spiritually together. As the contract of responsibility is signed between the two parents, the growth is given a purpose. Bringing a child in the world is a lesson of focusing less on yourself and more on your input to the other’s wee-being.

Many marriages which arrive close to separation can save themselves by making this crucial step. The care towards a third person shows each marriage partner in a new light, unexplored before, and lifts one more veil towards the full identity.

Spiritual growth relies more on experience than on possessions. Even the world’s most exclusive treatments can add a limited amount of actual growth.

Although it might sound strange, even negative experiences have a lot to do with growth, and sometimes this is the only way to trigger it. It might be hard to learn from a fall, but only the spiritual pain threshold can showcase flexibility and limits.

Spiritually often has a hard time revealing itself to individuals, especially in our modern times. A need o dig deep beneath superficiality, conventions, and unwritten rules is necessary, and some of us might have a hard time dealing with that.

Spirituality has a lot to do with being honest to yourself and admitting when you are not one the same page. One cannot enforce spirituality the same way no one will guarantee to you a direct chat with god if you go to church.

Spiritual growth needs to be prepared and all initial conditions must be met. Detachment, acceptance, humbleness is needed in order for you to understand that you are imperfect, and that you marriage can reach a higher level.

Growth acts the same way as learning. From a certain age, our initial flexible minds become constricted by more and more rules, filters of judgment and negative beliefs.

Working against that entire luggage often introduces a confrontation with the past. In order to induce the change and create spiritual growth in your marriage, you need to pick yourself up from where you were and carry towards your new you.

Doing that alone is hard, but working as a team means both of you will share at least half the burden. Sometimes, carrying your own weight is harder than carrying the weight of another.

Spiritual growth is disguised in the most unexpected ways and you will never see it on your doorstep, waiting for you to pet it and welcome it inside. Spiritual growth often eludes all the consecrated approaches and develops its new, revolutionary paths. You won’t experience spiritual growth until you see it from a retrospective way.

Spiritual growth is the distance separating a past you from a future, better you. The same goes for a marriage. No one will officiate a ceremony in which you receive the spiritual growth and others cheer. Spiritual growth is a hard earned prize and some couples might dream it their entire lives.

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By Vanessa Richardson

Guest columnist