Grief is not an easy thing to battle alone — it is better to have a support system to help go through the pain, as many who have experienced loss will attest. Liberty Hospice is growing its support group for those who are grieving, and this past weekend recognized a local caregiver who has

The group is currently small in number, but has hopes to expand as more people become aware of its existence.

“Hospice provides grief support services to anyone who has experienced a loss. Because we believe a grief shared is a grief lifted and good grief support prevents a crisis when it feels like one is happening, we provide grief support in the community itself and look for ways for the community to honor their losses together,” Lisa N. Decandia, regional bereavement coordinator for Liberty Hospice in Fayetteville and Clinton, stated.

The grief support group, along with the hospice team, met this past Saturday to place a bench in honor of Dr. John Smith, medical director of Liberty Hospice. Smith also serves as medical director of three other facilities in town. He graduated from Chapel Hill School of Medicine in 1977 and has over 42 years of experience. He has been with Liberty Hospice since 1980.

Smith was awarded Caregiver of the Year, an award that is planned to be given to someone different every year. A tree will be planted in honor of each caregiver.

“His patients know him for his trustworthiness, the way he explains things to them, the way he answers their questions, and the time he spends with each one of them, as if he is treating one of his own family members,” Decandia expressed. “Everybody knows Dr. Smith.”

Smith also mentioned that people in this world get to say goodbye to the ones they lose. The grieving process is important and everyone goes through it differently, he said. Grief can be like a sickness and the process traumatic, Smith noted.

Hospice provides a healthy way to go through that process.

“If you get to live long enough, you get to see a lot of people go,” Smith stated. “This kind of work gives more back. You get more than you give.”

Decandia stressed that hospice is not a place for people to go to die; instead, hospice aims to make people comfortable up until the end.

“It is for this reason, we don’t like to only honor and remember those who have died; we also like to take a moment to pause, reflect, and appreciate those who are living and even partner with us as a community as we live and love those around us,” Decandia continued.

The group surprised Smith with the dedication. They also planted a tree in the serenity garden located on 210 Fisher Drive, the group’s second planting this year. They also planted five bushes in the garden in June for Father’s Day.

“You ambushed me pretty good,” Smith explained to the group. “I’m overwhelmed.”

The idea is to have a place for people to go to remember their loved ones and honor their memory.

According to Decandia, it is a place for reflection and a memorial for those who have passed away. Decandia stated that she doesn’t know what will happen in the future. She knows new babies will be born and that people will pass away. Therefore, it is important to have something to hope for in the community.

The October planting was done to recognize the upcoming holidays and the chairs that will be left empty for the loved ones who have passed. At Saturday’s ceremony, there were rocks and paint for people to decorate to honor the lives of the ones they have lost, serving as a marker that could be revisited. Once the tree was put into the ground, everyone took their memorial rocks and placed them at the root of the tree. They also held hands around the tree for a moment of silence.

Participants were welcomed to put dirt around the base of the tree. Jameeka White, medical social worker, eagerly grabbed a shovel and began to place the dirt. A few people eventually joined in.

It was an emotional morning as newcomers grieved, just trying to make it through. It almost proved to be too much for one newcomer to handle, but Joyce Barnes, ran to her and showed her support.

Barnes lost her husband three years ago and is a member of the support group.

“There are two ways to get through grief — survive it or grow through it,” Decandia said. “Good grief support is support that makes you feel safe with your emotions and experience, when it appears as if the rest of the world has gone on without you. It provides tools through education and encouragement from others to normalize the process of loving someone when they are gone and no longer able to return that love or physically experience it. After all, grief is just the price we pay for loving someone, and as long as we continue to love them, we will grieve their absence here with us. Good grief allows for that to integrate into our life story moving forward after a loss.”

According to Decandia, Liberty Hospice provides support not only to hospice families, but also anyone experiencing a loss in the community. They provide that support through quarterly newsletters, phone calls, a local support group, and now the recent partnership with the City of Clinton in order to landscape the Memorial and Reflection Garden.

The NC Marble and Granite memorial bench was donated by Quincy Edgerton in honor of the event. The tree came from Sharpe & Davis nursery in Clinton. Johnathon Allen, the City of Clinton’s Recreation and Parks director, coordinated the event.

The plan is to plant more bushes, along with another tree, next October, as well as give out another Caregiver of the Year award.

The grief support group meets the second Tuesday of every month, from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m., at 405 County Complex Road. In November, they will have a blessing bag and a Thanksgiving potluck.

At a Saturday ceremony, a tree was planted and a moment of silence observed after a bench was installed in honor of Dr. John Smith, medical director of Liberty Hospice. Smith, with Liberty Hospice since 1980, was awarded Caregiver of the Year.
https://www.clintonnc.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/web1_IMG_9810.jpgAt a Saturday ceremony, a tree was planted and a moment of silence observed after a bench was installed in honor of Dr. John Smith, medical director of Liberty Hospice. Smith, with Liberty Hospice since 1980, was awarded Caregiver of the Year.

Kris DeCandia and Jonathan Allen, director of the Clinton Recreation and Parks Department, place the tree in the ground.
https://www.clintonnc.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/web1_IMG_9794.jpgKris DeCandia and Jonathan Allen, director of the Clinton Recreation and Parks Department, place the tree in the ground.

The grief support group, along with the hospice team, met this past Saturday to place a bench in honor of Dr. John Smith, medical director of Liberty Hospice.
https://www.clintonnc.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/web1_IMG_9798.jpgThe grief support group, along with the hospice team, met this past Saturday to place a bench in honor of Dr. John Smith, medical director of Liberty Hospice.

Jameeka White, medical social worker, eagerly grabs a shovel and began to place the dirt.
https://www.clintonnc.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/web1_IMG_9800.jpgJameeka White, medical social worker, eagerly grabs a shovel and began to place the dirt.

Joyce Lynch, nurse out of Liberty Hospice, decorates her rock in memory of her mother.
https://www.clintonnc.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/web1_IMG_9809.jpgJoyce Lynch, nurse out of Liberty Hospice, decorates her rock in memory of her mother.

Nellie Bass, 9, and Joyce Barnes place dirt around the tree.
https://www.clintonnc.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/web1_IMG_9804.jpgNellie Bass, 9, and Joyce Barnes place dirt around the tree.

Everyone took their memorial rocks and placed them at the root of the tree.
https://www.clintonnc.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/web1_IMG_9816.jpgEveryone took their memorial rocks and placed them at the root of the tree.

Pictured, from left, are: Pat Denton, Vanessa Monk, Joyce Lynch, Jameeka White, Susan Smith and Dr. John Smith.
https://www.clintonnc.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/web1_IMG_9791.jpgPictured, from left, are: Pat Denton, Vanessa Monk, Joyce Lynch, Jameeka White, Susan Smith and Dr. John Smith.
Grief support group recognizes Caregiver of Year

By Brendaly Vega

[email protected]

Brendaly Vega can be reached at 910-592-8137 ext. 2588