An excursion to Moraine State Park

Cannonball!

That was the one-word response from this rising seventh grader as he ran full speed ahead while jumping into the air, tucking his head down and hugging a pair of bony knees against one scrawny little frame prior to landing smack dab in the middle of Lake Arthur.

Upon completing the near perfect performance with pinpoint precision, my flamboyant theatrics sent a wave of water flying in all directions, thereby drenching the trio of agitated striplings surrounding me.

They immediately began inundating me with a barrage of concentrated splashes once I burst forth from beneath the man-made reservoir like a floating buoy rocking hither and thither.

Don’t get your panties in a bunch!

Those words barely escaped this witty wordsmith’s mouth when the oldest of the bunch unceremoniously dunked his head back under the surface of the clear liquid in response to the clever off-the-cuff remark; so, he did the very first thing that popped into his brain – he promptly pulled off his provocateur’s swimming trunks.

“Isn’t it a bit drafty down under,” I inquired while twirling the coveted prize through the air on the tip of my finger.

Now it was time to turn the tables on the lanky teenager by playing monkey in the middle using his form-fitting nylon speedo as bait.

After coming back from our annual summer excursion to the Empire State for a week-long visit with Grandma and Pappy Price, the Honneffer family – congregants from Ellwood City Assembly of God – introduced us to the natural beauty and wonder of Moraine State Park which was nestled among the lush green forests and rolling hills in Butler County, Pennsylvania.

While my younger siblings were splashing around along a portion of the forty-two miles of shoreline surrounding the recreational lake with Lynette Honneffer, the freckle-faced athlete and I were mucking about with her older brothers next to a wooden dock – with an attached ladder – jutting out into the water along the edge of a roped off swimming area.

These look a lot like tighty-whities!

“Playtime is over girls,” quipped Ricky Honneffer, Jr. as he reached into the air to stop the beach attire from going over his head one more time. “Since the water out here is deep and murky, it’s a good thing these trunks didn’t end up at the bottom of the lake; otherwise, I might’ve had to run all the way down the dock in my birthday suit.”

I can just see the headlines now in Monday’s edition of the Ellwood City Ledger – Local boy caught streaking at state park.

You simpletons are dead meat!

Before the soon-to-be Riverside high schooler had an opportunity to slip back into his rather skimpy bathing suit to enact a swift dose of well-deserved retribution, these former church camp bunkmates expeditiously climbed up the rungs of the metal ladder to get a head start over to the beachfront canopy where their mothers were lounging on a pair of beach chairs.

Moments after reaching the intended destination, we were picking the colorful boardshorts from between our collective butt cheeks like a cheap brand of dental floss stuck between two teeth after both of us received a very painful suitcase wedgie.

“That’s enough horsing around for one day,” cautioned Mrs. Carol Honneffer prior to giving her rambunctious offspring a stern ultimatum. “If you boys don’t knock it off this instant, we’ll go home directly after eating our lunch; so, unless youns want to spend the rest of the day in your bedroom sulking, I suggest you wise up immediately.”

Unbelievable!

Your firstborn was naked as a jaybird and these two laughing hyenas were playing keep-away with my swimsuit.

Tell it to someone who cares!

The complainer-in-chief flashed his pearly whites in the direction of the strict disciplinarian while reaching for a ham and cheese sandwich from the well-stocked cooler.

Shortly after calling the giddy girls – who were in the process of building a multi-layered sandcastle – in from the water’s edge, everyone sat down to enjoy a smorgasbord of menu items which were offered for the noon meal before the high-spirited adolescents found their way back into the warm waters of the popular summer destination.

“I’ve got a totally groovy idea,” offered the rising freshman after the foursome wadded out into the surf. “Since we have to wait thirty minutes for our food to digest, I think it would behoove us to have a chicken fight in the waist deep water; but let’s make it more challenging by pitting brother against brother.”

What does that mean?

“It basically means we have to swap brothers,” explained Chris Honneffer upon reaching the desired location with no other swimmers nearby. “While my brother intends on placing you on his shoulders, I’ll be hoisted atop your brother’s shoulders for the no-hold-barred competition; so, we’ll be fighting against our own kinfolk.”

Plus, it will be fairer since both teams ages will add up to twenty-five.

Whatever you say, cupcake!

Keep it up and I’ll be forced to give you a butt noogie.

Don’t forget what Mom said prior to eating lunch.

Not long before the fair-skinned redhead lifted me upon his broad shoulders, we quickly discussed a winning strategy for the highly contentious contest against our siblings.

Are you ready to rumble?

With a look of resolve splashed across their collective faces, these Junior Sunday school classmates interlocked hands as the intimate friends attempted to be the first to knock the other off the shoulders of their respective partner.

At one point when I began to topple backwards during the thick of the fray, my teammate maneuvered his feet and quickly stabilized the situation to continue the combative bout.

After nearly losing the battle with a totally unexpected move, I implemented my assigned task which I received prior to climbing atop my counterpart’s shoulders.

When Ricky lunged forward with the intentional movement, this minister’s second born forcefully shoved his 12-year-old cohort by the shoulder and rib cage toppling both opponents into the water below, thus sealing their defeat.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!