Why aren’t they happy?

“I just want them to be happy.” I’ll bet you’ve heard this said before by parents about their children. You may have said it. But, more and more, it seems like they’re not happy. And according to a recent study, the rest of us are not that happy, either.

The United Nations recently released its annual World Happiness Report, and the United States fell to 24th place among the countries surveyed. Finland was ranked No. 1 for the eighth straight year, and Afghanistan was ranked last. According to an article in “Barron’s” by Anna Korkman, “The happiness ranking is based on a three-year average of individuals’ self-assessed evaluations of life satisfaction, as well as GDP (Gross Domestic Product) per capita, social support, healthy life expectancy, freedom, generosity and corruption.”

Now why the United Nations is spending money on such a survey is worth asking. It seems that money could be better spent elsewhere. Maybe spending those funds to feed and help those needy in Afghanistan would be a wiser use of donated money. And how they determine a ranking based on such a subjective concept also raises questions.

But the survey does bring out some interesting facts and raises some questions. One interesting finding was about American’s eating habits. They found out that dining alone in the U.S. has increased 53 percent over the last two decades, and that sharing meals together “is strongly linked with well-being.” Even more interesting, the report stated that in 2023, one in four Americans surveyed stated they ate all their meals the previous day alone.

Now I’m not certain eating every meal with someone else will make you happy. (If that’s the case, folks in prison should be smiling all the time.) But I do know positive interaction with others is good for your well-being. And having all those positive points mentioned in the report sure can make your life better, but they are no guarantee of happiness.

Why? Well, because happiness is a feeling, an emotion. It’s an emotion that is situational, and is often based on expectations from that situation. For example, if I am playing golf at a difficult course and get a score of 85 on my card, I am happy. On another course, not nearly as hard, if I shoot an 85, I won’t be as satisfied or happy. It’s the same score at both courses, so what’s the difference? It’s a matter of expectations. (Okay, to be honest, I’m pretty much happy with an 85 on any course.)

Maybe that’s one of the main reasons the United States is now in the 24th place on the World Happiness Report. Maybe we’re a victim of our expectations. We’ve been told that we should expect to be happy nearly all the time, and that if we’re not happy, something is wrong. We’ve been told we will be happy if we have this or if we do that. Then we get this and then we do that. That whatever we end up getting or doing may give us pleasure and satisfaction for a while, but it is not long lasting. Then it’s on to the next thing in the search for happiness.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with experiencing happiness. Enjoy it, but realize that’s there’s something more out there. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life.” (John 14:6) Maybe that’s what we’re really searching for, and that can’t be found in the United Nations World Happiness Report. Think about it, and then go share a meal with someone.