Dear graduates, it’s not about you

Once again, I had my graduation commencement speech ready. But, once again, no one called. Even Kermit the Frog gave the commencement address at the University of Maryland this past week. (Actually, Jim Henson, the Muppets creator, went to Maryland.) So I’m sure it was just an oversight by school administrators. In order to correct that mistake, here it is…

Graduates, parents, school officials and guests, it is an honor and privilege to be asked to speak here today at this fine institution of learning. As I look out at this distinguished looking group of graduates, I have one statement that you graduates may have never heard.

Graduates, it’s not about you.

I can tell by that shocked look on your faces you’ve probably never heard this before. You have grown up in a world where high self-esteem is the ultimate goal. Parents, teachers, education officials, media and other adults have made sure of that.

Proper self-esteem is important, but the adults in your life have their reasons for wanting you to “feel good about yourself.” Your parents have been told by the “experts” that if they didn’t build you up and do everything exactly right you would turn into an ax murderer. And that would be a bad reflection on their parental skills.

Adults in institutions and organizations need you to need them. If they can help make you feel “special,” then they can justify their existence. Business and retail treat you as special because they want you to buy their stuff. And the media is there to help them sell you their stuff. They want you to feel “special” by buying their stuff.

Graduates, you will learn soon enough that employers don’t exist just to provide you a job. Their purpose is to make a profit. If your labor and skill assist in this goal, you may get employment. If not, they will hire a candidate more suitable. It’s just that simple, it’s not about you.

And that pool of candidates for those jobs has grown tremendously over the past several years. Remember when you called tech support for help on your computer last month. The person with the strange accent on the other end of the line was not from Raleigh or California, but from somewhere in India. By the way, he’s willing to work more hours and for half the pay than you are.

That’s if you’re actually talking to a real person, wherever they are. A couple of weeks ago, I called to renew my car radio subscription and had a nice conversation with an artificial intelligence computer. She was very helpful and somewhat scary at the same time.

You may not be planning to go on to further education or worrying about AI. You just want to go out and get a “regular” job. Well, that employer is planning today on ways to run his business, but somehow eliminate that “regular” job because he knows that labor is his most costly expense.

You’re thinking, “What about me? Don’t you know I’m special?” Graduates, every young generation thinks that they are “special.” I know my generation did. And I’m sure there were older people back then warning us of impending doom. When I came into the job market as a young adult, my competition in the job market came from places like Roseboro and Raleigh. Today your competition will be not only from Roseboro and Raleigh, but also Hong Kong and Mumbai. Or it may come from some robot or computer created in Silicon Valley.

A quote I read from “USA Today” a few years ago probably explains what you may be feeling right now. It stated, “If you grow up in a culture that says it’s all about you, it’s hard to think it isn’t.” So, I challenge you to change your thinking.

“It’s not about you.” That’s the first line in Rick Warren’s best-selling book, “The Purpose Driven Life.” In the book, he states that it is not about me and my plans, wants and desires. It is about determining and achieving God’s purpose in our lives. If you do that, then you will find the life and career that you were created for.

But, maybe in some ways, it is about you. Or it will be. In finding God’s purpose for your lives, your generation may be able to tackle and handle the many social and economic problems that the older generation (that’s the rest of us) have been unwilling to face. That will make you “special.” Just don’t hate us for the mess we’re leaving you.