To explain myself in a few words, I am the one person who is totally backwards in life. Everything I do is almost like an oxymoron of who I am. Here are just a few things that help explain what I mean. I came into this world as the oldest child of five but will probably end up being the last one to grow once the baby boy hits puberty in about five years or so. Public speaking is a severe fear of mine, yet I want to run my own non-profit and I’m also a communications major. I was born and raised in the south, but after living in New York for the last two years of high school, I know I belong in the city. I never really liked the idea of watching television but I am going into a field, where it’s the predominate occupation. I can’t remember a time where I loved going to school (other than college) but I want to learn so much and take so many classes. Like I said, my life is completely backwards but somehow or another it makes sense.
I am the eldest, and also soon to be shortest, of five children (three girls and two boys), and I was originally born here in Clinton. My family made the decision to move to Kinston while I was in first grade because of church reasons. After living in Kinston for a little over nine years, we moved to New York for the same reasons while I was in tenth grade. Once I graduated, my family thought it would be nice to move back to Clinton; however, I wanted to stay in New York since I was going to college anyway.
My mom wouldn’t let me. She is so used to having most of my family in a very close proximity, which is why I ended up back in Clinton with them. You see, my mom grew up with her cousins and aunts literally right next door to her.
Family is very important to me but I love the city and I do plan on going back sometime soon. With the city, everything is fast paced where you probably only have a good two seconds to really think about what you want to do. When I say that I was born in the south but the city is where I am supposed to be, I mean it. Even while growing up, there was something about the North that always captured my attention. The accent is one thing. Learning how to read is hard when your mother is “full on” southern and when your dad lived in the north since he was in high school. I have a very distinct memory of my dad and I reading the book “All Dogs Go to Heaven” and when the word dog came up, he would “correct” my pronunciation of the word because it isn’t “dawg” but “dog”, with emphasis on each letter individually.
Another reason the North holds my attention is the bodegas in The Bronx because they make better subs than any Subway or Jimmy John I will ever go to.
School and I never have been really good friends because it thought it was nice to shorten my daily naps and keep me all day even when I was tired. However, I love learning about how certain things work and how people think or why they think the way they do. If it was free, I would stay in college until I have taken every class that interests me. Now that I am in college, I have learned to really appreciate the education I am receiving. It has even given me the chance to really figure out what I want to do with my life; having my own film company or running my own non-profit. Both options are actually hilarious to me because being in charge means having to give directions and having to speak in front of people, two things that I am slowly learning how to do. Many of my friends, also, find it funny that public communication is kind of hard for me, even though I am a communications major, I take on some leadership roles and I am currently trying to start a club for the mass communications department at my school. To be honest, if it wasn’t for one of my best friends, I probably wouldn’t have thought about going into mass communications.
To me, television has become so repetitive and somewhat boring over the past few years or so. The closest thing to TV I will get is Netflix, not because we don’t have televisions at home — we have plenty — but simply based on the fact that there is so much advertisement on television and the things I love to watch aren’t on anymore. Now how does a person that doesn’t like television want to possibly go into television broadcasting or film making? It’s a good question that was hard to answer until the end of my second semester as a sophomore. I love documentaries because they bring meaning to issues, people, and cultures. I want to have my own film production company so that I can create something with meaning and that shows the depth of a situation so that it can possibly bring awareness.
This thought came to me after having the yearning to create a documentary of how an election could have an impact on an all-women’s college. During the process, I fell in love with filming, editing, interviewing, and having people say “I didn’t think about this until you asked me about it.”
Like I said, my life is backwards but somehow or another it makes sense. From hearing the different pronunciations of “dog” to finding out that I can speak to people without actually having to speak in front of them, my backwards life is somewhat of a good thing.