Thanksgiving football

Death, taxes, and… the Lions losing on Thanksgiving Day? Hold your horses on the last one.

I grew up not far from Michigan, and spelling it correctly this week is a cardinal sin in the state of Ohio. In case you’re wondering, it’s the week of ‘The Game,’ between THE Ohio State Buckeyes and The Team Up North, also known as the *ichigan Wolverines — it’s this week that the governor of Ohio once declared using the letter ‘M’ as ‘illegal’ across the state, and many fans have followed that tradition.

But, with my close proximity to that state, I got to see my fair share of Lions games as an impressionable youth. As a devout Steelers fan since the day I was born, I really didn’t care for the goings-on of the ‘Motor City Kitties,’ much. However, with NFL blackout rules and such, I found their games on quite a bit. And, on Thanksgiving Day, everyone in America did, too, in between the Macy’s parade, tryptophan-induced naps, and family feuds over the last slice of delicious pecan pie (which is the superior pie in my opinion.)

I vaguely remember Barry Sanders playing for Detroit. I was only alive for four years of his career, so the chances of me recalling any of his Turkey Day trots is slim to none. Ironically, though, I do remember rookie Randy Moss putting on a receiving clinic against the Cowboys — who passed on him in the 1998 draft — in Sanders’ last Thursday showing. One thing I could count on, though, was the Lions just being abysmal as families across the country tuned in for their annual beat down.

Just five times in my life have I seen Detroit win double-digit games in a season. If you remove the last two years, you also remove two of those times. Years 1995, 2011, 2014, 2023, and 2024 saw them win at least 10 games. They had a 16-year drought of not eclipsing the decade-mark in the win column, but the decade has seen a bit of an upswing for the Lions.

Gone are the days of Charlie Batch (who would have a great career as a backup in Pittsburgh), Gus Frerotte, Joey Harrington, Jon Kitna, and most notably, Matthew Stafford. In are the days of Jared Goff, Dan Campbell, and the duo known as “Sonic and Knuckles” — David Montgomery and Jahmyr Gibbs. In the distant past is the 0-16 season. Now, they have a 10-1 record and were conference runners-up a season ago. Many people, myself included, say they are the best team in football right now.

A major shift happened in the Motor City football culture, and it started with Dan Campbell, and his “biting kneecaps” press conference. A man in a world of his own, Campbell is as gritty as they come, and it shows. Offensive coordinator Ben Johnson dials up plays like we’ve never seen before, but with weapons like Gibbs, Montgomery, Amon-Ra St. Brown, and Jameson Williams, it’s hard not to. Penei Sewell, an offensive lineman, even gets the nod for touchdowns.

Barry Sanders and Calvin Johnson arguably had their careers wasted in Detroit. They endured absolutely atrocious football at many points in their careers. Both of them should have one Super Bowl ring, if not more. But it was rarely to any fault of their own. The year they went 0-16, when Johnson was on the team, they had a point differential of -249. Comparatively, just 12 weeks into the season this year, they are already outscoring that team by 92 points, with six more games to play. Across the 2008 and 2009 seasons, when they won a combined two games, they were outscored by a combined 481 points. Last year, they scored 461 points alone. You can see the vast difference in the culture just by their statistics.

But, the Lions aren’t the only team that gets a Turkey Day game. “America’s team,” the Dallas Cowboys, also play on the fourth Thursday of every November. They boast a 33-22-1 record in their annual Thursday game through last season’s blowout win over the Washington Commanders, which had a final score of 45-10 in their favor. The Lions, who have played on Thanksgiving every year since 1934 (save for four times in WWII), are 37-44-2.

I alluded to it earlier, but Randy Moss’s performance for the Minnesota Vikings in the 1998 edition of the game was one for the record books. There is a famous picture of him on the sidelines of that game, which shows his stats at that point in the contest. He had three catches for 163 yards and three touchdowns against the Cowboys. That was also the year that I talked about in a previous column, when the Lions beat the Steelers in their game on the infamous coin flip that the referee got wrong. I’m still upset about that call, even though I was more concerned with the Power Rangers and the villains they were fighting at the time, since I was four years old.

I have a serious disdain for the Arlington Cowboys, who I refer to as such because their stadium isn’t even in Dallas. I want to do everything I can to take power away from them and Jerry Jones. I believe he is one of the worst owners in football, but I like what he’s done with the team — a cycle of mediocrity since the ’90s, forever banishing them to be a laughing stock on the national stage.

There are no qualms from my perspective with the Lions, though. I even find myself rooting for them at times, too. The massive trade between them and the Rams that sent Matthew Stafford to Los Angeles and brought Jared Goff into town was somehow a win-win situation, which is rare in professional sports. Stafford got his Super Bowl ring and Goff found new life in a town that now supports him like no other. Sure, at the time, it looked like mediocre quarterback for mediocre quarterback, but hindsight is 20/20.

I will root for them again this Thursday, when they host their division-rival Chicago Bears, and not just because I somehow found Jameson Williams on the waivers in my fantasy football league, either. I truly want them to win. I will also be rooting for the New York Giants on Thanksgiving Day, against my better judgement, because they’ll heading into Arlington looking to kick the Cowboys while they’re down.

I guess the Packers and Dolphins play the late-slate on Thursday, but who is still awake at 8:20 p.m. to catch that game? Not I. Certainly not after I plop down on my couch and watch football all day, as I stuff myself full of an unconventional Thanksgiving spread that I have come to know — whatever local Chinese spot that has the quickest delivery times.

So, if you’re a Lions fan, just know that I am rooting alongside of you in between bites of General Tso’s chicken. If you’re a Cowboys fan, know that I am actively rooting against you every chance I get.